Ding Songyan pun mengangkat cantingannya, lalu ambil sedikit teh. Ia tak langsung bertanya, cukup menunggu Twelfth Madam melanjutkan ceritanya sendiri.
Setelah jeda sejenak, Twelfth Madam Luo berkata dengan suara agak jauh, "Aku punya saudara sepercha'jaruan yang beberapa tahun lebih tua dariku. Kita besar bersama dan latihan bela diri bersama. Bahkan ia yang diajari membaca, kaligrafi, dan melukis di tempuhanku..."
Saat berkata, Twelfth Madam Luo kembali terdiam.
Twelfth Madam memang tak pernah mau kalah, meskipun dalam hal ini ia memang unggul. Sebelum selesai latihan, seni bela dirinya sudah melampaui seniornya yang lebih tua...
Twelfth Madam Luo perlahan mengerutkan kening, seolah melihat jauh.
"Kami dulu pacar muda." Ding Songyan menyiapkan pertanyaannya, "Dan saat itu?"
Twelfth Madam Luo mengangguk leher, mengangguk sambil tersenyum kecil.
"Akhirnya kita berdua masuk ke jianghu bersama. Bertemu banyak orang, mengalami bahaya. Meskipun tak pernah mengatakan apa-apa secara lantang, sejatinya kita saling mencinta..."
Di sini, Twelfth Madam Luo tertawa pelan, menggelengehkan kepalanya sendiri.
"Mungkin saja."
"Dan lalu?" Ding Songyan menyiapkan pertanyaannya, "Apa yang terjadi selanjutnya?"
Twelfth Madam Luo mengumpulkan emosinya, lalu melanjutkan, "Lama-kelamaan ada yang mengajukan proposal pernikahan ke sekte kita, ingin mengawiniku. Meskipun sebenarnya tak sulit untuk menolak, pemimpin sekte kita, ayahku, dan para Elder senang dengan rencana ini.
"Pertama, orang itu bilang ia benar-benar mencintaiku. Kedua, aliansi ini akan membawa manfaat besar untuk kedua belah pihak. Ketiga, para Elder merasa potensiiku sudah mencapai batas maksimal dan harapanku mencapai Alam Langit-Manusia terlihat tipis, jadi pernikahan ini adalah keputusan yang tepat."
Dahulu ia sudah berada di Ranah Dharma yang sempurna tapi tak terlihat tua... Ding Songyan memang suka mendalami hal-hal tersembunyi.
Twelfth Madam Luo perlahan mengerutkan kening lagi.
"Ketika aku mengetahuinya, aku buru ke seniorku, harapkan ia bisa mengalahkan para Elder dan ayahku sebelum mereka menyetujui pernikahan ini. Ia adalah benih Langit-Manusia di antara para murid sekalipun di sekte kita. Jika ia ingin mengawiniku, para Elder pasti akan menyetujuinya. Tapi ia menolak..."
"Kenapa?" Ding Songyan terkejut.
Pacar muda dan kamu tidak mau memilikinya?
Meskipun disamarkan seperti ini, Twelfth Madam masih punya banyak pengagum yang tulus, dan kecantikannya sejati dan pemandangannya pasti tiada tandingannya.
Atau mungkin karena terlalu akrab, sehingga ia kehilangan perasaan itu, dan hanya Twelfth Madam yang merasa sendiri-sendiri...?
Twelfth Madam Luo menekan bibirnya bersama.
"Ia punya alasannya, yang sesuai dengan kepriaannya, tapi kala itu kuberikan aku tidak ingin mengerti..."
"Dan sekarang?" Ding Songyan bertanya.
Twelfth Madam Luo mengangguk pelan.
"Lama-kelamaan aku mengerti. Itu adalah Jalannya. Tapi aku tetap tidak menerimanya."
Jalan apa? Tentu saja Ding Songyan mendendang dalam hati tapi tak mengatakannya.
Twelfth Madam Luo memandang tehnya.
"Aku sebenarnya bisa memaksa, ayahku pasti akan mendukungku dan menolak pernikahan ini. Tapi kemarahanku saat itu meluas, dan kuberhenti mengapa pun..."
"Para Elder di sekte tidak mencoba mengehentikanku?" Ding Songyan tidak mengantisipasi bahwa Twelfth Madam, yang biasanya tenang, pernah punya sisi yang berapi-api.
Masa mudanya memang membuat orang mudah marah!
Dilihat dari sudut pandang ini, kekejaman Twelfth Madam yang ditunjukkan sehari-hari bukan hanya untuk mengatasi pemakan klo atau ibu-ibu tetangga sembarangan. Dia memang punya sisi "pedas" yang lahir.
Twelfth Madam Luo tersenyum sendiri.
"Aku selalu mengikuti aturan seumur hidupku. Tak siapa pun mengharapkan aku tiba-tiba memberontak, jadi tak pernah siap untuk melawan..."
"Ayahku meramalkan dan menyadarinya, tapi ia tidak mengganggu. Sebaliknya, ia meninggalkan pintu samping untukku dan minum sendiri di halaman, mengangkat cangkirnya ke langit."
"Kamu tahu aku kabur ke luar? Kenapa ia tidak memaksa dan kembali menolak pernikahan ini?" Ding Songyan tidak menyembunyikan kebingungannya.
Apakah pernikahan itu benar-benh sulit ditolak?
Twelfth Madam Luo ekspresi lembut sedikit.
"Ayahku dulu sekalian masa kecilnya sekalipun. Ia bangga dengan itu. Sering ia berkata kepadaku bahwa setidaknya sekali dalam hidup harus dilakukan perlawanan terhadap otoritas: hanya dengan melanggar hukum bisa kita mengerti hukum, hanya dengan memecahkan hukum bisa kita menciptakannya..."
Ding Songyan mengangguk dengan sedikit pemahaman.
"Dan kamu tak pernah kembali ke sekte kamu sejak saat itu?"
"Tidak," Twelfth Madam Luo menjawab dengan jujur. "Aku juga tak pernah bertemu para sesama murid yang dahulu..."
Tidak hera, hanya kamu yang bisa diajak bicara. Aku penasaran apakah ada keluarga atau sesama murid yang bisa kudejajaki... Ini seperti pengasingan diri, gadis muda... Ding Songyan bertanya dengan serius, "Kamu akan kembali ke sekte suatu hari nanti?"
"Ya," Twelfth Madam Luo menjawab tegas. "Tapi itu akan jauh lagi, ketika proses pengujian hatiku di dunia fana selesai, atau ketika tiba-tiba menghadapi titik krusik..."
"Jangan kamu rindu orang tua kamu?" Ding Songyan bertanya.
"Ibumu mati saat aku masih kecil, sekitar sepuluh tahun. Ayah punya banyak istri dan anak, ada saudara-saudaraku juga, jadi tidak perlu kuhadiri di sisinya setiap saat untuk menyumbangkan baktinya..." Twelfth Madam Luo mendesah. "Meskipun begitu, kapan saja ia meninggalkan gunung, aku selalu mengetahui ke mana ia pergi dan menemuinya..."
"Ia tak pernah memaksa kamu kembali ke gunung?" Ding Songyan mengalihkan topik ke arah yang tidak akan meneruskan suasana hati Twelfth Madam.
"Aku tak pernah bicara dengannya." Twelfth Madam Luo menurunkan mata ke tehnya. "Aku hanya melempar batu dan memukulnya di kepalanya, supaya ia tahu aku datang mengunjungi..."
Twelfth Madam, apakah kamu benar-benar sekejam ini? Ding Songyan terdiate tertawa.
"Apakah melempar batu satu-satunya trikmu?"
"Atau bagaimana?" Twelfth Madam Luo agak marah karena tertawa.
"Nanti kalian bisa aja kubimbing," Ding Songyan tersenang. "Tapi apakah memukul ayah sendiri dengan batu benar-benar ide yang bagus?"
Twelfth Madam Luo memandangnya.
"Ia adalah Master Tertinggi. Bagaimana ia bisa dipukul?"
Seorang Master Langit-Manusia? Warisan keluarga yang sangat dalam... Kamu tahu bahwa ia tak akan terkena, padahal tetap melancarkannya. Adakah itu cara untuk memohon? Benar, memohon pada ayah sendiri itu alami... Aku rasa itu termasuk sebagai cara untuk mengucapkan salam... Ding Songyan tidak mengungkapkan pemikiran ini karena takut dipotong Twelfth Madam.
Twelfth Madam Luo menghela napas dan melanjutkan, "Itulah bagaimana kabarnya di masa lalu. Beberapa tahun terakhir, setelah menguji hatiku di dunia fana, aku ingin bertemu dan berbicara dengannya, tapi akhir-akhir ini ia tak pernah meninggalkan gunung..."
Baru sekarang Ding Songyan mengembalikan topik ke arah awal.
"Dulu, apakah itu seniormu yang hampir kamu temui?"
Aku tak melihat siapa pun.
Twelfth Madam Luo mengangguk ringan, tak mengatakan apa-apa.
Setelah jeda panjang, Ding Songyan mengangkat kannanya, lalu berbisik pada Twelfth Madam Luo, "Terima kasih atas ceritamu. Aku mengadakan canangan teh untukmu pengganti minuman keras."
"Terima kasih juga atas ceritamu."
Twelfth Madam Luo pun mengangkat kannya.
Ding Songyan tak pernah menggurui atau memaksa. Membiarkan orang lain bicara tentangnya itu mudah, tapi bagi dirinya sendiri, sangat, sangat sulit.
Hingga kini, ia hanya menerima bahwa ia belum benar-benar melepaskan, lalu fokus pada memecahkan masalah dan menyambut kemungkinan baru.
Mereka mengenangkatan cangkir, lalu mengangkatnya ke bibir dan menyedotnya dalam sekali tenggak.
Ekspresi Twelfth Madam tetap tenang, tapi tak lagi se-serius sebelumnya. Ia bangun, masuk ke sayap barat, mengelilingi, dan keluar.
"Ada yang masuk, tapi mereka tidak menyentuh milikku apapun."
"Mungkin tak akan ada tindak lanjut. Mereka sudah memastikan Wu Zheng tidak berada di sini." Ding Songyan berpikir dan mengatakan, "Tapi penyelidikan tentang identitasmu pasti tidak akan berhenti. Dengan sesuatu hal besar sedang berlangsuhai, tidak ada satu pun pihak yang toleran anggap endak variable tak dikenal di papan. Setidaknya mereka ingin tahu siapa kamu, teman atau musuh."
Twelfth Madam Luo mengangguk ringan.
"Aku tahu."
Ding Songyan membersihkan perlengkapan teh, lalu melihat ke sayap timur.
"Twelfth Madam, aku ingin tinggal beberapa hari lagi. Aku tidak bisa hanya dekat dengan Phoenix Terrace Study lalu kembali ke kediaman pada hari yang sama. Itu akan mencurigakan."
Dalam beberapa hari ke depan, adik sepercandaan yang layak dapatku temui...
"Baik."
Twelfth Madam Luo tidak menolak.
Masing-masing sibuk dengan urusan mereka sendiri.
Saat malam tiba, Twelfth Madam Luo duduk di sisi meja, menyebarkan kertas, dan mulai melatih kaligrafi dengan kuas.
Kaligrafi untuk menenangkan pikiran... Ding Songyan melihatnya lalu memakai setengah meja yang lain untuk menulis bukunya.
Setengah jam kemudian, Twelfth Madam Luo meletakan kuasnya, lalu alami mengambil halaman yang sudah ditulis Ding Songyan dan membacanya dengan teliti.
"Tidak ada komentar?" Ding Songyan menyelesaikan babnya untuk hari ini, lalu tersenyum, "Bagaimana menurutmu?"
Twelfth Madam Luo memandangnya dari sudut mata.
"Bab ini sangat bagus. Aku tak bisa menemukan kekurangan apapun. Puas?"
"Kamu memuji aku, Twelfth Madam." Ding Songyan dengan cepat menirukan sikap rendah hati.
Ia membersihkan perlengkapan kaligrafi dari meja, termasuk milik Twelfth Madam, lalu ambil dua tempat cuci kuas ke halaman untuk mencuci.
Twelfth Madam Luo memandangnya sibuk-sibunya, lalu setelah sekian lama bisik, "Mengemasihi tanpa alasan berarti ingin mendapatkan sesuatu..."
Ding Songyan picked up his teacup too and took a light sip.
He did not press, waiting for Twelfth Madam to continue on her own.
After a brief pause, Twelfth Madam Luo said in a slightly distant voice, "I had a senior brother who was a few years older than me. We grew up together and trained martial arts together. He even guided me in reading, calligraphy, and painting on my father’s behalf..."
As she spoke, Twelfth Madam Luo fell silent again.
Twelfth Madam’s master is her father... Ding Songyan deliberately seized on a detail and asked, "As a senior brother, he never guided your martial arts?"
Twelfth Madam Luo was startled, then her mouth curved slightly.
"I was better than him, so he couldn’t guide me. Only my father taught me himself."
As expected of Twelfth Madam, who has to be the best at everything from childhood. Before even completing her training, her martial arts surpassed those of her senior brother, who was several years older... Ding Songyan nodded and did not interrupt.
Twelfth Madam Luo’s gaze gradually drifted, as if cast far away.
"We were childhood sweethearts. Later we even ventured into the jianghu together, met some people, and went through a good many dangers. Though we always acted within the bounds of propriety and neither of us ever said anything aloud, we truly loved each other."
At this, Twelfth Madam Luo gave a low laugh, seemingly mocking herself.
"Most likely."
"And then?" Ding Songyan did not discuss the question of mutual love and cooperatively asked.
Twelfth Madam Luo gathered her emotions and recalled, "Later, someone proposed marriage to our sect, wanting to marry me. Though it would have been fine to refuse, the sect leader, my father, and the other Elders were happy to see it happen.
"First, that person said he truly liked me. Second, the alliance would greatly benefit both sides. Third, the elders felt my potential was exhausted and my hopes of the Heaven-Man Realm were slim, so such a match was a good thing."
Already at the perfected Dharma Realm back then? She doesn’t seem to have been old... Ding Songyan was always one to distill the hidden circumstances.
Twelfth Madam Luo’s mood gradually sank again.
"When I found out, I hurried to my senior brother, hoping he would beat the elders to my father and ask for my hand before they agreed to that marriage. He was the Heaven-Man seed among our sect’s disciples of that generation. If he wanted to marry me, the elders would surely nod. But he refused..."
"Why?" Ding Songyan was stunned.
Childhood sweethearts and you don’t want her?
Even disguised like this, Twelfth Madam has several sincere admirers, and her true looks and bearing must be absolutely top-tier.
Could it be that being too familiar left him without that feeling, and it was only Twelfth Madam’s one-sided longing?
Twelfth Madam Luo pressed her lips together.
"He had his reasons, and they fit his nature, but I didn’t want to understand them then."
"And now you do?" Ding Songyan asked.
Twelfth Madam Luo murmured her agreement.
"I came to understand later. It was his Way. But I still don’t accept it."
What Way? A pedantic one? Ding Songyan grumbled inwardly but did not say it aloud.
Twelfth Madam Luo looked at the tea in her hand.
"Actually, if I had insisted, my father would have sided with me in the end and refused that marriage. But my temper flared then, and I chose to leave home regardless of anything."
"The elders of your sect didn’t stop you?" Ding Songyan had not imagined Twelfth Madam, mostly mild and easygoing these days, had once had such a fiery side.
Youth really makes one hot-tempered!
Seen this way, the fierceness Twelfth Madam shows daily isn’t entirely an act put on to deal with street loafers and alley matrons. She has a "spicy" side in her bones.
Twelfth Madam Luo smiled self-deprecatingly.
"I’d followed the rules all my life. None of them expected me to suddenly rebel, so they never guarded against it.
"My father guessed and noticed, but he didn’t intervene. Instead, he left a side door for me and drank alone in the courtyard, toasting the moon."
"He found out you were running away from home. Why didn’t he keep you and turn down the marriage instead?" Ding Songyan did not hide his puzzlement.
Was that marriage so hard to refuse?
Twelfth Madam Luo’s expression softened a little.
"My father rebelled in his youth and was proud of it. He often told me that once in a lifetime one must defy authority: only by violating the law can one know the law, and only by breaking the law can one establish it."
Ding Songyan nodded with some understanding.
"And you’ve never gone back to your sect since?"
"No," Twelfth Madam Luo said frankly. "I haven’t met any familiar fellow disciples either."
No wonder the only person she can talk to is me. I had wondered whether she had any family or fellow disciples... This is a bit like self-exile, young lady... Ding Songyan asked thoughtfully, "Will you go back to your sect in the future?"
"Yes," Twelfth Madam Luo answered firmly. "But that will be many years into the future, when my tempering of the heart in the mortal world is over, or when it reaches a crucial point and I need to face it."
Ding Songyan asked, somewhat curious, "Don’t you miss your parents?"
"My mother exhausted herself working to complete an immortal melody and died when I was ten or so. My father has wives and concubines, and I have brothers and sisters too, so there’s no need for me to always be at his side to show filial piety." Twelfth Madam Luo sighed. "Still, whenever he leaves the mountain, I find out where he’s gone and go meet him."
"He never urged you to return to the mountain?" Ding Songyan steered the topic far afield, toward something that wouldn’t dampen Twelfth Madam’s mood.
"I didn’t speak to him." Twelfth Madam Luo lowered her eyes to the tea in her cup. "I just throw a stone and hit him on the head, so he knows I came to see him."
Twelfth Madam, are you really that twisted and awkward? Ding Songyan said, amused,
"Is throwing stones your only trick?"
"Otherwise?" Twelfth Madam Luo was a bit irritated at being laughed at.
"Later I can teach you some ways to prank people," Ding Songyan said with a laugh. "But is hitting your own father on the head with a stone really a good idea?"
Twelfth Madam Luo looked at the fellow.
"He’s a Supreme Master. How could he be hit?"
A Heaven-Man Supreme Master? Deep family heritage indeed... You know full well it won’t hit, yet you throw it anyway. Is that your way of wheedling? Right, wheedling one’s own father is natural... I suppose it counts as a way of saying hello... Ding Songyan did not voice these thoughts, afraid of being split by Twelfth Madam’s hatchet.
Twelfth Madam Luo sighed and continued, "That was how it was in earlier years. In the past few years, after tempering my heart in the mortal world, I’ve wanted to see him and talk, but lately he hasn’t left the mountain at all."
Only then did Ding Songyan steer the topic back on track.
"Earlier, was it your senior brother you nearly ran into?"
I didn’t see anyone.
Twelfth Madam Luo nodded lightly and said nothing.
After a stretch of silence, Ding Songyan raised his teacup and said in a low, soothing voice to Twelfth Madam Luo, "Thank you for your story. I toast you with tea in place of wine."
"Thank you for your story too." Twelfth Madam Luo raised her own teacup.
Ding Songyan did not preach or try to persuade. Letting go was easy when others spoke of it, but very, very hard to do oneself.
To this day, he had only accepted that he had not truly let go, and focused on untying the knot and welcoming new possibilities.
The two clinked cups, brought them to their lips, and drained them in one swallow.
Twelfth Madam Luo’s expression was still calm but no longer so low as before. She rose, went into the west wing, made a round, and came out.
"Someone did go in, but they didn’t touch anything of mine."
"There probably won’t be follow-ups. They’ve confirmed Wu Zheng isn’t here." Ding Songyan thought and said, "But the investigation into your identity will certainly not stop. With something big brewing, no side will tolerate an unknown variable on the board. At the very least they’ll want to know who you are, friend or foe."
Twelfth Madam Luo nodded slightly.
"I know."
Ding Songyan gathered the tea set and looked toward the east wing.
"Twelfth Madam, I’d like to stay a few more days. I can’t have just wandered near the Phoenix Terrace Study and then move back to the estate the same day. That would arouse suspicion."
In the next few days, my undeserved little sister is very likely to come find me...
"Fine." Twelfth Madam Luo did not refuse.
They each got busy with their own affairs.
By evening, Twelfth Madam Luo took one side of the desk, spread out paper, and began practicing calligraphy with a brush.
Calligraphy to calm the mind... Ding Songyan glanced over and used the other half of the desk to write his storybook.
After practicing for a little under an hour, Twelfth Madam Luo set down her brush and naturally picked up the pages Ding Songyan had already written and began reading them carefully.
"No comments?" Ding Songyan finished today’s Chapter, looked up, and asked with a smile.
Twelfth Madam Luo gave him a sidelong glance.
"This Chapter’s very well written. I can’t find any fault with it. Satisfied?"
"You flatter me, Twelfth Madam." Ding Songyan quickly put on a modest look.
He tidied the calligraphy items of the study on the desk, including Twelfth Madam’s, and took two brush washers to the courtyard to clean.
Twelfth Madam Luo watched him bustle about, dazed, and after a good while murmured,
"Showing attention for no reason means wanting something..."
The shopkeeper pretended not to know, went to the wine shop kitchen to boil a large kettle of water, then carried a half-person-tall bathtub into the west wing.
Seeing this, Ding Songyan returned to the east wing and showed a gentleman’s conduct.
The night passed quietly, and he slept quite soundly in the back courtyard of the Cheap Wine Shop.
The next morning, as soon as Ding Songyan left the latrine, he saw Twelfth Madam Luo, in a sky-blue short jacket and a dark red pleated skirt, come out of the wine shop with light steps, eating a red-yellow-green apple.
"In a good mood?" Ding Songyan asked with a smile.
"Normally I can sort out my mood in a day or two too," Twelfth Madam Luo said with a smile, biting into the crisp apple. "Yesterday I even told a past I’d kept buried deep. After hearing your story, I feel it truly helped."
"That’s good." Ding Songyan looked at the stone table in the courtyard. "What’s for breakfast today?"
"Forgot to make it." Twelfth Madam Luo handed Ding Songyan an apple without the slightest shame. "Just eat this."
Ding Songyan took it and bit in. It was crisp, sweet, and just sour enough.
He glanced at Luo Mingyin and tried.
"Twelfth Madam, I don’t know if I should ask a question."
"Then don’t." Twelfth Madam Luo bit her apple, perfectly calm.
Ding Songyan pretended not to hear.
"Are you in the Dharma Realm or the Heaven-Man Realm?"
Twelfth Madam Luo looked at the red-yellow-green apple in her hand and sighed.
"Heaven-Man."
Indeed... Tempering the heart in the mortal world corresponds to the path of seeking the Spirit Platform at the peak of the Heaven-Man Realm? No wonder Miss Xiao Qing used that same phrase when mentioning her aunt... Ding Songyan perked up at once and put on a smile.
"My enemy will come looking for me in the next few days. She’s a Heaven-Man, and I’m truly no match. I’d like to ask you to help frighten her off, to let her know this neighborhood isn’t a place she can come and go as she pleases.
"I’m not asking you to fight her. If two Supreme Masters truly clash, people will surely notice, and you’d no longer be able to hide your identity. You only need to scare her away."
Twelfth Madam Luo, her hair in a loose, tilted bun, replied, amused, "Is this a debt of romance? I don’t get involved in other people’s debts of romance."
Komentar Chapter (0)
Login buat ikut berkomentar.
Belum ada komentar di chapter ini. Jadi yang pertama!