Tiga tahun lamanya ia berulang kata-kata itu dalam mimpi. Setiap kali ia bangun, wajahnya basah air mata.
Dalam mimpi, ia seperti yang sekarang—dingin, tanpa lapak daging, tidak ada selera cinta bagi dirinya.
Ia memang salah!
Guncangan atas 'kematian'nya itu menyakitkan. Ia menyadari sekaligus betapa pentingnya pria itu dalam hidupnya.
Dan kini, ia memahami betapa liciknya kebiasaan lama.
Selama tiga tahun, hatinya dikasasi penyesalan pejal. Tiada satu hari yang memberdiranya keheningan.
Holly Sinclair tetap tak bergesekan.
'TIA know dia salah?'
'Namun apa gunanya sekarang?'
Orang berubah, situasinya berubah. Tak ada hari untuk mundur.
Penyesalannya itu menjadi bercanda bagi mereka.
Melihat ketenangan Holly, Tristan Sterling bergetar lebih hening. Balingannya memerah.
'Aku jangan izinkan satu orang pun yang melukaimu larang!' bisiknya, matanya memerah.
Terutama Vivian Linton.
Tiga tahun lamanya, ia tak menganiayakannya. Tapi membuatnya hidup dalam surga penderitaan.
'Adakah itu?' tanya Holly, suaranya tak peduli, ekspresinya dingin seolah tak ada hubungannya.
'Ya! Aku...'-'Kenapa kau masih hidup dan sehat?'
... Ia hengestang, nafasnya menunduk.
'To?'
'Aku yang paling menyakitkannya!'
'Kalau tak karena pelaku lena, bagaimana Vivian Linton bisa membekelkannya begitupun?'
'Di dasarnya, aku yang utama!'
Wajah Tristan memetik bening. Ketika dia terdiam, takut berkata.
'Tristan Sterling, kau harus mengampuni dengan kematianmu,' gumam Holly. Suaranya ringan, tapi hancur seperti mata bendung.
'Holly—' feelingnya sepertinya disuntiknya invloven.
Pinakannya mengarah ke anaknya yang sedang bermain jauh. Matanya melemah, manjak-menjaahkannya pada anaknya. Tapi yang keluar seperti pisau tajam: 'Jika kau punya secukurnya, pergi saja jauh-jauh dan jangan pernah biarkan Candice atau aku melihatmu lagi!'
Pain yang tajam menyebar hatinya.
Ia terdiam lama. Lalu, 'Aku tidak bisa.' terucap pelan.
Tiga tahun penderitaan, akhirnya ia menemukannya lagi. Bagaimana mungkin bisa menglepornya?!?
Ia tak bisa!!
'Hah~'
Holly menatapnya, matanya penuh dendam.
'Holly...'
'Pergi mati!'
Senyum lemah menyelimuti bibirnya saat menghakimi dengan tegas namun tenang.
Tristan beku, wajahnya memetik bening.
Setelah selesai, dia berbalik menjemput anaknya.
Sekalipun menatap kecuali satu, hatinya kelam.
'Candice.' demutan suaranya hangat.
'Candice Sinclair langsung mengangkat pandangan. Menyaksikan ibunya, ia lari dengan ceria.'Matanya tersenyum.
Holly menunduk, menutup lengan lebar untuk memeluk putranya. Senyumnya memuaskan. 'Sedang bermain dengan menyenangkan?'
'Banyak!' Candice mengangguk kencang, senyumnya manis dan menggugah.
'Waktunya kita pulang sekarang.' 'Baik.' tangannya menggenggam tangannya kecil.
Permainan itu menyenangkan, tapi anak itu lebih menyayangi ibunya dan selalu mendengar apa yang dikatakannya.
Tristan berjalan mendekat, memekerjakan lampu sekaligus mengamati adegan hangat pasangan ibu-anak itu.
Hatinya seperti ditekan oleh tangan tak terlihat.
'Aku harus ada di dalam gambar indah itu.' tapi sekarang...
Ia tak lagi bisa menjadi bagian dari momen bahagia itu.
Bagaimana hatinya tidak pahit?!?
'Bye-bye, tuan,' Candice mengangguk muka kecilnya menuju Tristan, menggenggam napas.
'Tuan...'
Pain lain menembus hatinya.
Mata Tristan merah, ia berlutut untuk melihat mata anaknya. 'Candice, aku bukan Tuan. Aku...'
'Apakah kau layak?'
Holly memotongnya dengan suara dingin.
Tristan menahan napas.
'Tentu saja tidak. Aku tak layak.' Candice berumur hampir tiga tahun, dan dalam tiga tahun itu, tidak pernah memenuhi tugas sebagai ayah.
Candice Sinclair memandang Tuan yang jujur di depannya.
'Wajah Tuan itu biru. Apakah Tuan akan menangis?'
'Candice, kita pergi ke rumah,' bisik Holly, memeluk-riyakannya, ekspresinya lembut bertindakan sebaliknya dingin tadi.
'Baik, Ibu.' Candice mengangguk pelan, suaranya lembut dan manis untuk diikuti.
Ayah-ibu itu pergi berjalan satu tangan.
Tristan tak mau membisahkannya.
Ia ingin mempertahankan mereka di sisinya selamanya; ia siap memberi mereka dunia pada emapan perak.
Tapi...
Ia tak punya alasan untuk memaksa mereka tetap.
Ia juga tahu bahwa sekiranya ia merentakkan nyawanya, kemungkinan besar tak akan berhasil mempertahankannya.
Tristan menggenggam tangannya, matanya menjerit air mata.
'Ibu.' Setelah mereka berjalan sejauh, Candice mengintip belakang, lalu menatap ibunya.
'Hmm?'
'Mengapa Tuan itu terlihat secewa?'
Holly menghela napas pelan.
'Sedih?'
'Apa kesedihan kecilnya dibanding penderitaan yang dialami oleh Holly dan Candice?'
'Karena ia perbuatan tidak diaberi pengampunan,' jawab Holly, menggenggam tangan anaknya, menyentuh pipinya yang lembut. 'Katakan dia minta maaf?'
'Ya,' kata Candice, tatapannya berbincycle.
'Tapi Ibu, katakanlah kalau ada yang salah lalu minta maaf, tetap menjadi anak yang baik. Karena Tuan itu minta maaf, kenapa kita tidak bisa memaafkan? ' tanya Candice dengan serius, mengangkap bibirnya.
'Tidak,' jawab Holly, tangannya gemetar perlahan.
'Kenapa tidak?'
Holly tersenyum pada anaknya, lalu menjawab dengan serius: 'Karena tidak semua kesalahan layak dimaafkan.'
Candice berkedip, belum sepenuhnya mengerti.
Tetapi apa yang Ibu katakan, itu yang benar.
'Oh.'
Candice mengangguk seolah setengah mengerti, dengan percaya pada Ibu.
...
'Rumah Sakit Psychiatrik.'
Seorang wanita yang rambutnya tercesok dan wajahnya kotor mengandung di sudut gelap, basah hujan, gemetar dan berehat-berehat.
'Bukan aku yang menghukummu... Aku takkan pernah lagi melakukan itu, aku takkan pernah lagi...'
'Tristan, aku mencintaimu... Aku benar-benar, benar-benar mencintaimu... Kapan kau datang untuk mengambilku?'
'B bitch! Holly Sinclair, bitch... Aku akan memenggal kepalamu, aku akan memenggalnya...'
Vivian Linton berbisik tidak konsisten, ekspresinya menjulang sebagai binatang yang ditekam dalam keamukan.
Ia sudah ditelantarkan di sana selama tiga tahun!
Tiga tahun lamanya, Tristan Sterling menemukan warna benarnya.
Saat itu, ia tidak segera mengatasinya, dan ia berharap mungkin masih ada sebatang hati cinta.
Siapa yang pikirannya bisa berubah!
Saat sesuatu terjadi pada bitch Holly, ia melepaskannya ke dalam rumah sakit itu.
Ia membenci dengan kikik!
Tapi ia tak mau matikan.
Ia berkata bahwa membunuhnya itu terasa lemah.
Ia ingin membuatnya hidup dalam kebalikan kematian, mengalami pekelasan setiap hari.
Dan sedemikian raham ia membangun paralanya.
Berumput
Pintunya tiba-tiba dibuka perlahan.
Seorang pria yang tinggi dan menakup perlahan masuk ke dalam ruangan.
Pria itu mendekat kepada Vivian Linton. Pandangannya dingin seperti mata buaya di tanduk, menatapnya—
'Nona Sinclair Holly tidak mati.'
For three years, he’d said those words countless times in his dreams.
And every time he woke, his face would be stained with tears.
In his dreams, she was just as she was now—cold, merciless, with not a shred of love left for him.
He truly knew he had been wrong!
The shock of her "death" had been too great. It made him realize in an instant just how important she had been to him.
He also came to deeply understand just how outrageously wrong he had been.
And so, for these past three years, his heart had been tormented by regret day and night. He hadn’t given himself a single day of peace.
Holly Sinclair remained unmoved.
’He knows he was wrong?’
’But what good does that do now?’
Things had changed, people were different. There was no going back for them.
His repentance was a joke to her.
Seeing Holly’s calm demeanor, Tristan Sterling grew even more frantic inside.
"I haven’t let a single person who hurt you get away!" he said urgently, the corners of his eyes turning red.
Especially Vivian Linton.
For the past three years, he hadn’t taken her life, but he had made her live every day in Hell.
"Is that so?" Holly asked, her voice lacking interest, her expression cold and detached as if it had nothing to do with her.
"Yes! I put Vivian—"
"Then why are you still alive and well?"
"..." He had been about to describe Vivian Linton’s fate but was cut off by her chilling words. His breath caught in his throat, and he choked.
’That’s right, why am I still alive and well?’
’I’m the one who hurt her the most!’
’If it weren’t for my mindless indulgence, how could Vivian Linton have bullied her so relentlessly?’
’When you get right down to it, I’m the main culprit!’
Tristan Sterling’s face was pale. He was rendered speechless.
"Tristan Sterling, you should atone with your death," Holly said. Her voice was light, but her words were cold and merciless.
"Holly—" Tristan felt as if a knife were twisting in his heart.
Holly’s gaze shifted to her daughter, who was playing happily not far away. Her eyes softened with extreme tenderness, but the words that left her lips were like daggers. "If you have even a shred of conscience, you’ll get the hell away from here and never let Candice or me see you again!"
A dense, sharp pain spread through Tristan’s heart.
Speechless for a long moment, he finally forced the words out, "I can’t."
After three years of agony, he had finally found her again. How could he possibly let go?!
He couldn’t let go!!
"Hah~"
Holly looked at him, her eyes filled with scorn.
"Holly..."
"Then go die!"
A cruel smile touched the corners of her lips as she uttered the most vicious curse in the calmest of tones.
Tristan froze, his handsome face turning white.
After speaking, Holly turned and walked toward her daughter.
Even a second glance at him felt like it would soil her eyes.
"Candice."
Holly walked to the play area, calling her daughter’s name gently.
"Mommy!" Candice Sinclair immediately looked up. Seeing her mother, she ran over happily.
Holly crouched down, opening her arms to welcome her daughter. She smiled dotingly. "Are you having fun?"
"Lots of fun!" Candice nodded vigorously, her smile sweet and adorable.
"It’s time for us to go home now."
"Okay." Candice obediently placed her little hand in her mommy’s.
The games were fun, but she loved her mommy most of all and always listened to what she said.
Tristan walked over, silently watching the touching scene of a loving mother and her devoted daughter.
His heart felt as if it were being squeezed viciously by an invisible hand.
’He should have had a place in this beautiful picture.’
’But now...’
He could no longer be a part of such a happy moment.
How could his heart not ache?!
"Bye-bye, mister," Candice said, tilting her little face up at Tristan and waving obediently.
’Mister...’
Tristan’s heart was pierced with pain once again.
His eyes reddened as he squatted down to meet his daughter’s gaze. "Candice, I’m not a mister. I’m..."
"Are you worthy?"
Holly cut him off with a chill in her voice.
Tristan choked on his words.
’That’s right. I’m not worthy.’
Candice was almost three, and he hadn’t fulfilled a single day of his duties as a father.
Candice Sinclair looked strangely at the handsome mister before her.
’The mister’s eyes are so red. Is he going to cry?’
"Candice, let’s go home." Holly dotingly ruffled her daughter’s hair, her gentle expression a stark contrast to her coldness just a moment before.
"Okay, Mommy." Candice nodded, her voice soft and sweet as she replied obediently.
The mother and daughter left, hand in hand.
Tristan didn’t want to let them go.
He wanted to keep them by his side forever; he would offer them the world on a silver platter.
But...
He had no excuse to make them stay.
He also knew that even if he laid down his life, he probably couldn’t keep them.
Tristan clenched his fists, his eyes stinging with an overwhelming burn.
"Mommy." After they had walked a short distance, Candice snuck a glance back at the handsome mister, then looked up at her mother.
"Hmm?"
"Why did the mister look so sad?"
Holly scoffed silently.
’Sad?’
’What was his little bit of sadness compared to the suffering she and Candice had endured?’
"Because he did something unforgivable," Holly said, picking up her daughter and planting a kiss on her chubby pink cheek.
"Did he say he was sorry?" Candice asked, blinking her big, dark eyes.
Holly recalled Tristan’s earlier words, "I was wrong..."
"He did," she answered, nodding truthfully to her daughter.
"But Mommy, you said that if you do something wrong and you say you’re sorry, you’re still a good kid. Since the mister said he was sorry, can’t we forgive him?" Candice asked earnestly, tilting her little head.
"No, we can’t," Holly said, gently shaking her head.
"Why not?"
Holly smiled at her daughter and answered seriously, "Because not every mistake deserves to be forgiven."
Candice blinked, not quite understanding.
But whatever Mommy said was right.
"Oh."
Candice nodded as if she half-understood, showing her complete trust in her mother.
...
「The psychiatric hospital.」
A disheveled woman with a grimy face cowered in a dark, damp corner, shivering and muttering to herself.
"Don’t hit me... I won’t do it again, I’ll never do it again..."
"Tristan, I love you... I really, really love you... When are you coming to get me...?"
"Bitch! Holly Sinclair, you bitch... I’ll strangle you, I’m going to strangle you..."
Vivian Linton rambled incoherently, her face contorted in a savage expression as she strangled the pillow in her hands.
She had been locked in here for three years!
Three years ago, Tristan Sterling had discovered her true colors.
At the time, he hadn’t dealt with her immediately, and she’d thought he might still have a shred of affection for her.
Who would have thought!
The moment something happened to that bitch Holly, he threw her into this psychiatric hospital.
He hated her with a vengeance!
But he didn’t want her dead.
He said that just killing her would be letting her off too easy.
He wanted her to live a life worse than death, to spend every day in purgatory.
And so her nightmare began.
The hospital staff locked her in a room with several other patients who had violent tendencies.
She was beaten until her bones broke, beaten until she coughed up blood, beaten to within an inch of her life.
But just as she was about to be beaten to death, the staff would come and rescue her.
They would send her for medical treatment.
Once she was more or less recovered, they would lock her up with the violent patients again.
An endless cycle.
For these three years, not a single day had passed without her body suffering excruciating pain.
Every second felt like a year!
She had tried to kill herself, unable to bear it, but she was saved every time.
Tristan Sterling didn’t want her to die so easily.
That man was too ruthless!
CREAK~
The door was suddenly pushed open gently.
A tall, imposing man slowly entered the room.
The man walked up to Vivian Linton. His frigid gaze, like that of a viper in a gutter, looked down on her—
"Holly Sinclair isn’t dead."
Komentar Chapter (0)
Login buat ikut berkomentar.
Belum ada komentar di chapter ini. Jadi yang pertama!