Melihat wajah Tang Yaxuan yang memelas dan berlepotan air mata, Wu Xiaowen tak kuasa menegur suaminya. "Qingyun, bagaimana kau bisa memperlakukan anak seperti ini? Kau biasanya lebih memanjakannya daripada aku. Kasih sayang ayah dan anak selama belasan tahun tak mungkin lenyap begitu saja!"
"Perkawinan belasan tahun saja sudah berakhir. Apa artinya hubungan ayah dan anak palsu selama belasan tahun?"
Senyum sinis muncul di wajah Tang Qingyun. "Dulu aku menurutimu, memikirkan perasaanmu, dan terlalu gampang tersentuh. Itu sebabnya aku diperdaya anak ini. Semakin lama aku tinggal di Desa Gongdao dan semakin banyak yang kutahu, semakin aku ingin bunuh diri! Bodohnya, tololnya aku, sampai bisa dipermainkan keluarga itu? Dan orang tua serta anaknya bersekongkol, memasang jebakan terang-terangan agar aku masuk perangkap! Darah dagingku sendiri terinjak-injak oleh mereka, sementara aku masih memanjakannya, mencintai dan memanjakannya sampai ke langit!"
Tang Qingyun mendesiskan kalimat terakhir itu dengan gigi terkatup, menghantamkan tangan ke setir. Mobil oleng, membuat Wu Xiaowen memekik kaget. Tang Yaxuan tak berani menangis lagi, juga tak berani membela diri sepatah kata pun. Ia meringkuk di dekat pintu, tampak mengenaskan seperti hewan kecil yang ditinggalkan.
Wu Xiaowen menepuk dadanya untuk menenangkan diri, suaranya lembut dan membujuk. "Qingyun, kau sedang menyetir. Jangan terbawa emosi. Hati-hati. Kita bertiga di mobil ini... Soal perceraian, aku tak ingin menandatangani suratnya. Kita suami istri yang sudah melewati susah senang bersama, cinta kita tulus dan mendalam, dan kita punya Manman serta Hao Hao. Kau tahu..."
"Soal kita nanti saja. Jangan bawa-bawa Manman dan Hao Hao. Setelah melahirkan mereka, apa yang pernah kita berikan? Tak lain hanya penderitaan! Aku ini ayah yang lalai, dan soal kau... aku tak mau berkomentar."
Setibanya di International Hotel, Tang Qingyun memarkir mobil dan berjalan di depan. Wu Xiaowen bergegas menyusul agar bisa berjalan di sisinya, tetapi ujung bajunya dicengkeram erat oleh Tang Yaxuan. Wu Xiaowen mengerutkan kening, membuka tas kecilnya, dan mengeluarkan lima yuan untuk diberikan kepada Tang Yaxuan. "Tak pantas kau ada di sini saat orang dewasa berbicara. Pergi bermainlah. Beli apa pun yang kau suka, tapi ingat sisakan uang untuk bus. Rumah kita jauh."
Tang Yaxuan ragu sejenak sebelum menerima uang itu, lalu berkata pelan, "Ma, boleh aku ikut masuk dan makan sebentar sebelum pergi? Beras dan minyak di rumah sudah habis. Garam, gula, dan kertas toilet juga habis. Aku berharap bisa menabung uang ini untuk membeli..."
"Sudahlah, sudahlah. Ini dua puluh yuan lagi. Cukup untuk membeli kebutuhan dan makan siang. Sekarang, pergilah."
Setelah menyuruh Tang Yaxuan pergi, Wu Xiaowen merapikan pakaiannya, menghaluskan ujung baju yang dikusutkan Tang Yaxuan. Dengan goyangan pinggul, ia bergegas mengejar Tang Qingyun.
Tang Yaxuan menggenggam dua puluh lima yuan di tangannya, matanya merah saat melihat Wu Xiaowen mengikuti Tang Qingyun masuk ke International Hotel tanpa menoleh sedikit pun. 'Sudah lama sekali aku tak bisa makan di tempat mewah seperti ini. Karena Tang Qingyun membiarkanku naik mobil, pasti dia berniat mentraktirku dan Ma makan. Tapi Ma tega sekali menyuruhku pergi!'
Tang Yaxuan terus menoleh ke belakang saat menjauh dari International Hotel. Ia mengusap perutnya yang kosong, dalam hati menggerutu tentang Wu Xiaowen. 'Dia bisa makan dan minum enak, tapi menyuruh anaknya yang kelaparan pergi. Apa dia lupa aku bahkan tak sarapan pagi ini? Semalam cuma sedikit mi tawar sebelum tidur. Sudah berhari-hari aku tak melihat sepotong daging pun. Perutku terasa kosong, dan mulutku terasa hambar serta pahit.'
Wu Xiaowen tak suka memasak. Dulu saat Sun Xiaorui masih ada, ia memaksa Tang Yaxuan belajar memasak. Saat itu, uang Wu Xiaowen banyak, dan ia sering hanya melemparkan uang belanja kepada Tang Yaxuan untuk mengurus rumah. Ketika Tang Yaxuan tinggal di asrama, Wu Xiaowen makan di kantin tempatnya bekerja atau, lebih sering, di restoran milik negara. Kalau tidak, ia mentraktir kolega dan teman makan di luar. Belakangan, ia ditipu oleh Sun Xiaorui, uangnya jatuh ke tangan Sun Xiaorui sedikit demi sedikit. Ia bahkan berutang puluhan ribu yuan karena Sun Xiaorui. Lima puluh ribu yuan yang diberikan keluarga Tang saat perceraian langsung dipakai menutup lubang itu, tapi tetap tak cukup. Akibatnya, Wu Xiaowen mengencangkan ikat pinggangnya. Kini, ibu dan anak itu sesekali makan di kantin. Di lain waktu, ia menyuruh Tang Yaxuan memasak, memberi uang belanja hanya beberapa yuan sekali. Ia menjadi begitu kikir hingga tak lagi tampak seperti dirinya sendiri.
Ketika Tang Qingyun menyebut dirinya ayah yang lalai, Tang Yaxuan tak setuju. Sejak kecil hingga sekarang, ia selalu merasakan kasih sayang ayah dari dirinya yang seluas gunung dan sedalam laut. Cara Tang Qingyun merawat seorang anak dengan lembut dan teliti tak bisa ditandingi ayah lain. Tang Yaxuan benar-benar mencintai dan bergantung pada ayah ini.
Sebaliknya, Wu Xiaowen cukup lalai terhadap anak-anaknya. Itu juga karena ada seorang pengasuh di rumah untuk diperintah. Ia hanya suka memerintah orang, tapi sangat pandai menjaga penampilan.
Tang Yaxuan menyusuri jalan cukup lama sebelum menemukan tempat yang menjual makanan. Ia menghabiskan dua jiao untuk semangkuk sup keping mi dan menghirupnya perlahan, sesapan demi sesapan. Saat melihat pelanggan lain memesan pai gurih, bakpao daging, dan telur kecap, ia pun ingin, tapi tak tega membelanjakan uangnya.
'Aku sudah tak bisa mendapat banyak uang dari Wu Xiaowen, jadi aku harus berhemat sepeser pun. Tiap bulan, aku harus mengumpulkan lima belas yuan untuk dikirim pulang ke Desa Gongdao. Perempuan gila, Liu Fengying, terus menguntitku lewat telepon, telegram, dan surat seolah nyawanya bergantung padanya. Aku ingin mengabaikannya, tapi setiap kali Liu Fengying tak mendapat jawaban, ia menulis surat lagi, katanya sebagai ibu kandung, ia tak bisa tenang tanpa kabar anak sulungnya. Ia berencana meminjam uang untuk ongkos jalan, membawa adik-adikku yang cacat ke Beijing mencari Wu Xiaowen, dan mengajakku pulang ke desa untuk reuni keluarga.'
'Ancamannya kejam. Itu membuatku begitu ketakutan hingga aku lebih memilih hidup berhemat tiap bulan daripada gagal mengumpulkan lima belas yuan itu untuk dikirim.'
'Aku sudah sepenuhnya ditinggalkan keluarga Tang sekarang. Satu-satunya pilihanku adalah bertahan dengan hati-hati menjilat Wu Xiaowen. Apa itu mudah? Aku tak berani membandingkan diri dengan Tang Manman, tapi aku yakin dengan kerja kerasku sendiri dan sedikit bantuan dari aura keluarga Tang, aku pasti bisa hidup layak dan bahagia di masa depan serta membangun dunianya sendiri yang indah. Soal Desa Gongdao, sudut terpencil, terbelakang, terkutuk itu? Aku bahkan tak mau melihatnya dalam mimpi!'
Ia membenci Mo Guoqiang dan Liu Fengying. 'Mereka bahkan tak bisa menangani satu Mo Xiaoman. Tak apa kalau mereka hanya terlalu bodoh menyelesaikan hal sederhana, tapi mereka bahkan menyeretku dan membuatku kehilangan semua yang kumiliki! Aku seharusnya jadi orang elite, seorang putri, tapi mereka menyeretku ke tanah. Hidupku yang sulit dan hina sekarang ini semuanya gara-gara pasangan bodoh itu dan anak-anak mereka yang seperti lipas dan tikus...' Tang Yaxuan menggigil. 'Membayangkannya saja sudah menjijikkan! Semoga kita tak pernah bertemu lagi!',
Seeing Tang Yaxuan’s pitiful, tear-streaked face, Wu Xiaowen couldn’t help but chide him, "Qingyun, how can you treat a child this way? You usually dote on our daughter even more than I do. More than a decade of father-daughter affection can’t just be erased!"
"A marriage of over a decade is over. What’s a fake father-daughter relationship of over a decade?"
A sarcastic smile appeared on Tang Qingyun’s face. "I used to listen to you, consider your feelings, and was too soft-hearted myself. That’s how I was deceived by this child. The longer I stayed in Gongdao Village and the more I learned, the more I wanted to kill myself! How stupid, how much of an asshole must I be, to be played like a fiddle by that family? And it was the parents and daughter working together, setting a blatant trap for me to walk right into! My own flesh and blood was being trodden underfoot by them, while I was still doting on this manipulative, fake daughter, loving her and spoiling her to the heavens!"
Tang Qingyun spat out the last sentence through clenched teeth, slamming his hand hard on the steering wheel. The car lurched, causing Wu Xiaowen to cry out in alarm. Tang Yaxuan didn’t dare to cry anymore, nor did she dare to say a word in her defense. She curled up into a ball against the door, looking pitiful, like an abandoned little animal.
Wu Xiaowen patted her chest to calm herself, her voice soft and persuasive. "Qingyun, you’re driving. Please don’t get worked up. Be careful. There are three of us in this car... About the divorce, I didn’t want to sign the papers. We’re a couple who has been through thick and thin, our love is genuine and deep, and we have Manman and Hao Hao. You see..."
"We’ll talk about us later. Don’t bring up Manman and Hao Hao. After giving birth to them, what have we ever given them? Nothing but pain! I’m a negligent father, and as for you... I don’t want to comment."
When they arrived at the International Hotel, Tang Qingyun parked the car and walked ahead. Wu Xiaowen tried to hurry and catch up to walk beside him, but the corner of her shirt was gripped tightly by Tang Yaxuan. Wu Xiaowen frowned, opened her small handbag, and took out five yuan to hand to Tang Yaxuan. "It’s not proper for you to be around when adults are talking. Go have some fun. Buy whatever you like, but remember to save money for the bus. We’re a long way from home."
Tang Yaxuan paused before taking the money and said softly, "Mom, can I go in and eat with you before I leave? We’re out of grain and oil at home. We’re also out of salt, sugar, and toilet paper. I was hoping to save this money to buy..."
"Alright, alright. Here’s another twenty yuan. That’s enough to buy what you need and get some lunch. Now, go on."
After sending Tang Yaxuan away, Wu Xiaowen straightened her clothes, smoothing out the corner Tang Yaxuan had wrinkled. With a sway of her hips, she hurried forward to catch up with Tang Qingyun.
Tang Yaxuan clutched the twenty-five yuan in her hand, her eyes red-rimmed as she watched Wu Xiaowen follow Tang Qingyun into the International Hotel without a backward glance. ’It’s been so long since I’ve been able to eat at a high-end, fancy place like this. Since Tang Qingyun let me get in the car, he must have been planning to treat Mom and me to a meal. But Mom was cruel enough to send me away!’
Tang Yaxuan kept looking back as she walked away from the International Hotel. She rubbed her flat stomach, inwardly complaining about Wu Xiaowen. ’She gets to eat and drink well, but she sends her starving child away. Did she forget I didn’t even have breakfast this morning? Last night was just a bit of plain noodles before bed. I haven’t seen a speck of meat in days. My stomach feels empty, and my mouth has a bland, bitter taste.’
Wu Xiaowen didn’t like to cook. Back when Sun Xiaorui was around, she had forced Tang Yaxuan to learn how to cook. In those days, Wu Xiaowen was flush with cash and would often just toss the living expenses to Tang Yaxuan to manage the household. When Tang Yaxuan was away at boarding school, Wu Xiaowen would eat at her work cafeteria or, more often, at state-run restaurants. Otherwise, she would treat colleagues and friends to meals out. Later, she was swindled by Sun Xiaorui, her money falling into Sun Xiaorui’s hands bit by bit. She even ended up tens of thousands of yuan in debt because of Sun Xiaorui. The fifty thousand yuan the Tang family gave her during the divorce went directly to filling that hole, but it wasn’t enough. Consequently, Wu Xiaowen tightened her purse strings. Now, the mother and daughter occasionally ate at a cafeteria. Other times, she had Tang Yaxuan cook, giving her grocery money just a few yuan at a time. She was becoming so stingy it didn’t even seem like her anymore.
When Tang Qingyun had called himself a negligent father, Tang Yaxuan didn’t agree. From childhood to now, she had always felt a paternal love from him as vast as the mountains and as deep as the sea. The tender and meticulous way Tang Qingyun cared for a daughter was something other fathers couldn’t match. Tang Yaxuan truly loved and relied on this father.
In contrast, Wu Xiaowen was rather careless with her children. This was also because there was a nanny at home to order around. She only ever ordered others about, but she was very good at keeping up appearances.
Tang Yaxuan walked down the street for a long time before she found a place selling food. She spent two jiao on a bowl of noodle-flake soup and sipped it slowly, one mouthful at a time. When she saw other customers ordering more savory pies, meat buns, and braised eggs, she wanted some too, but she couldn’t bear to spend the money.
’I can’t get much money from Wu Xiaowen anymore, so I have to pinch every penny. Every month, I have to scrape together fifteen yuan to send back to Gongdao Village. That crazy woman, Liu Fengying, hounds me for it with phone calls, telegrams, and letters as if her life depends on it. I want to ignore her, but whenever Liu Fengying doesn’t get a response, she writes another letter, saying that as a biological mother, she can’t be at peace without news of her eldest daughter. She’s planning to borrow money for travel, bring my disabled younger siblings to Beijing to find Wu Xiaowen, and take me back to the countryside for a family reunion.’
’The threat is vicious. It terrifies me so much that I would rather live frugally every month than fail to scrape together those fifteen yuan to send out.’
’I’ve been completely abandoned by the Tang family now. My only choice is to survive by carefully sucking up to Wu Xiaowen. Is it easy? I don’t dare compare myself to Tang Manman, but I believe that with my own hard work and a little help from the Tang family’s halo, I can definitely have a decent, happy life in the future and build my own wonderful world. As for Gongdao Village, that poor, backward, godforsaken corner? I don’t even want to see it in my dreams!’
She despised Mo Guoqiang and Liu Fengying. ’They couldn’t even handle a single Mo Xiaoman. It would be one thing if they were just too stupid to get a simple thing done, but they even dragged me down and made me lose everything I had! I was supposed to be elite, a princess, but they dragged me down to earth. My current difficult, humble life is all thanks to that stupid couple and their brood of cockroach- and rat-like children...’ Tang Yaxuan shuddered. ’Just thinking about them is disgusting! I hope we never meet again!’
After finishing her noodle-flake soup, she walked to the bus stop. A bus pulled up, and it wasn’t very crowded. She moved to the door, hesitated for a moment, but still didn’t get on. She turned and left the stop, deciding to walk home along the street.
’The money I save from the bus fare can be used to buy a few sheets of large white paper. Wu Xiaowen said that since I’m in high school now, my studies are too demanding, so she won’t let me continue my traditional Chinese painting classes. But I know that mastery of the four arts—zither, Go, calligraphy, and painting—is essential for any well-bred young lady. I can’t give it up. I often use the excuse of visiting my teacher to sit in on classes for free. The teacher never says anything. I just need to save up enough money for paper, brushes, and paint.’
Komentar Chapter (0)
Login buat ikut berkomentar.
Belum ada komentar di chapter ini. Jadi yang pertama!