Hari ke-22 – Sore, di jalan.
Itu izin masuk, sekaligus kartu identitas, tertulis nama Haruka, dan untuk penjaminnya, nama lengkap Merimeri-san tercantum.
Sekarang aku bisa masuk keluar bebas. Bebas tol. Tidak tahan, aku masuk keluar kota sekitar lima kali, sampai para penjaga gerbang marah.
Akibatnya, kembali ke kota terasa agak canggung, jadi waktunya geek hunt rutin. Kali ini aku cek jalur lain, yang menjauh dari sungai. Artinya juga terpisah dari ikan. Rencananya pulang sebelum malam.
Sepertinya ada kota di arah ini? Meri?…… Merimeri-san juga bilang ayahnya pergi ke arah ini, mengunjungi kota lain. Karena ayahnya pergi ke sana, tidak ada alasan geek tidak bisa ada di sana juga.
Yuk cek.
Aku berlari kencang.
Hmm, apakah aku jadi lebih cepat? Karena ada efek dari 『Boots of Acceleration – Acceleration 30% Up』 yang aku gabungkan dengan Leather Boots? Malah jadi lebih sulit dipahami.
Rasanya sudah menempuh jarak jauh, tapi aku baru keluar kota.
Birokrat, maaf sudah bicara kasar. Rambu jalan itu perlu. Jarak ke tujuan juga harus tertulis. Aku nggak paham seberapa cepat aku lari. Tapi aku nggak izinkan spanduk. Slogan keselamatan jalan juga nggak perlu. Sesaat kelalaian – cedera seumur hidup. Meski ada peringatan tetap ada tabrakan. Kenapa? Karena goblin ada di sana. Lupakan cedera, mereka langsung ke alam baka. Kalau punya waktu bikin slogan, ajarin goblin keselamatan jalan. Menabrak mereka berulang kali sakit!
Dengan ini itu, aku terus lari.
Menyebarkan gob, aku lari.
Kobold juga jadi korban jalan.
Aku sudah lupa mau apa ke sini? Menyebarkan geek?
Lagi, sama seperti kemarin, ada kereta diserang bandit. Apakah ini tren terbaru? Harus ikut? Harus serang kereta juga?
Saat mendekat, aku lihat 『Omui』 tertulis besar di kereta. Nama perusahaan? Jasa pengiriman? Kalau mereka urusan pengiriman, aku harus pesan buku dari mereka.
Aku lari ke sana.
Penyerangnya tentara bersenjata, pengawalnya juga tentara bersenjata, sepertinya jasa pengiriman di dunia lain penuh bahaya. Pasti banyak pengiriman terlambat.
Untuk permulaan, aku hantam tentara yang nggak urusan pengiriman. Yah, aku cuma nggak usaha berhenti dan menabrak mereka. Setelah tabrakan, kebanyakan hal, sia goblin, kobold, atau tentara, terlempar. Dunia ini keselamatan jalannya parah.
「Eehm…… Kamu…… Haruka-kun?」
Eh? Aku nggak ingat kenal kurir di dunia lain, apalagi ini lagi orang tua. Dunia ini terlalu banyak orang tua kan? Biasanya kan gadis-gadis cantik di mana-mana? Itu kan klise isekai? Kenapa aku dikepung orang tua? Kenapa harus dikelilingi orang tua bersenjata? Musuh dan sekutu sama-sama orang tua? Dunia lain mau bunuh aku dengan bau orang tua?
「Err, ya, iya? Tapi siapa kamu? Atau, kamu bukan kurir?」
Eh? Lalu siapa kirim buku aku? Siapa yang mau ke Amazon ambil buku? Jasa pengiriman palsu?
「Nama kan tertulis jelas di kereta huruf besar. Aku denger pria berambut hitam yang menabrak musuh kecepatan tinggi…… Anak perempuanku nggak undang kamu hari ini?」
「Anak perempuan? Ah, jadi kamu ayah Merimeri-san, penguasa kota tanpa nama, Phaatherr-san?」
Entah kenapa, orang tua menjengkelkan menyerbu, jadi aku dinginkan kaki dan tanah mereka dengan 『Temperature Magic』 lalu bekuin dengan 『Ice Magic』.
Saat mereka tak bisa gerak, aku nyalakan tangan dan rambut mereka. Gugel, itu hukuman mau bunuh aku dengan baumu.
Atau, meski ini bagian sejarah hitamku, tapi sebagai mantan chuunibyou aku merasa wajib coba bikin neraka es dan api (Inferno).
Dan yah, pas dicoba di realita, hasilnya segrompol orang tua gugel sedih dengan kaki beku dan luka bakar parah di tangan dan kepala…… Seharusnya lebih keren kan? Ini apa? Cuma ngerasa asing dilihat. Bukan neraka es api, tapi neraka orang tua gugel terbakar? Aku nggak mau serangan kayak gini. Salah, Inferno harusnya lebih…… Keren, lebih kayak (nangis).
「……Hei, kamu dengerin? Aku denger kamu nggak dengerin orang, tapi pilihlah antara berkelahi atau dengerin, kenapa ngomong sendiri di situasi kayak gini? Aku kasihan sama tentara terbakar, minimal perhatiin saat mengalahkan mereka, dan juga, kenapa tanpa nama? Nama tertulis besar di kereta. Dan meski aku memang ayahnya, namaku bukan Phaatherr. Aku belum perkenalkan diri, atau lebih tepat, ini yang aku mau lakukan, jadi tolong dengerin, dan juga, kalau anak perempuanku denger kamu panggil dia Merimeri dia bakal nangis, jadi berhenti.」
・ ・ ・
Semua orang gugel ditangkap. Karena terlalu kasian aku siram ramuan jamur, tapi meski lukanya sembuh, rambutnya nggak tumbuh kembali. Inferno (Pembantaian Akar Rambut) terlalu menakutkan. Aku segel (berlaku seperti tidak pernah terjadi) serangan ini karena terlalu berbahaya.
Tapi kenapa setiap kali cari geek, aku nemuin banyak gob dan orang tua? Mungkinkah Detect Presence nggak bisa bedain goblin, geek, dan orang tua? Kalau begitu, mungkin juga nggak bisa bedain si bodoh yang ditinggal di hutan.
「Kamu Haruka-kun? Terima kasih sudah selamatkan keluarga kami. Aku ibu Mariel, Murimur. Daripada pergi ke kota sebelah untuk traktat sepele, aku mau ucapkan terima kasih. Meski sulit disebut kebetulan bahagia, aku berterima kasih selamatkan putri kami. Lalu, kamu selamatkan kami juga? Bagaimana cara membalas budi ini. Terima kasih banyak.」
Ooh, rasio orang tua turun. Wanita tua bergaun elegan dan pelayan tidak terlalu muda keluar dari kereta…… Memang rasio orang tua turun, tapi suasana hatiku tetap turun. Rata-rata usia terlalu tinggi. Rata-rata usia karakter yang aku temui sejauh ini di atas 30. Kenapa?
「Tidak, traktat dengan kota sebelah sangat penting, bukan sepele. Dan, Haruka-kun, aku perkenalkan diri, aku penguasa Omui, Mellotosam Shimu Omui. Izinkan aku ungkapkan rasa terima kasih kepada penyelamat keluarga kami. Terima kasih.」
Setelah itu cerita rumit dengan nama bangsawan, kota lain, nama negara, nama raja muncul, tapi aku abaikan. Aku ulang, aku abaikan. Bukan karena aku nggak ingat nama atau nggak paham. Aku cuma abaikan.
Ternyata, bandit kemarin adalah pasukan elite bangsawan lawan, diberi peralatan terbaik, yang berpura-pura bandit untuk culik Merimeri, sebagai sandera. Tapi elite dan peralatan tidak kembali, jadi mereka serbu dengan jumlah, mengumpulkan orang menyerang Ayah Meri dan Murimur-san.
Akibatnya, tidak ada info geek atau jasa pengiriman…… Hal ini nggak ada hubungannya denganku, tentu aku abaikan.
Lagi aku kembali ke kota naik kereta.
Bahkan di dalam kereta mereka terus mengulang terima kasih. Dan nama kota.
Penjaga gerbang tidak marah hari ini.
Tapi presiden marah.
Ingat, aku nggak bilang nggak keluar kota hari ini?…… Eh? Aku cuma beli kecap? Kenapa jadi begini?
Day 22 – Afternoon, on the road.
It’s an entry permit, it’s an ID, it says Haruka, and for the guarantor, Merimeri-san’s full name is written.
Now I can come and go freely. Free of toll. Unable to resist I went in and out of town for about 5 times, until the gatekeepers got mad at me.
As such, going back to the town feels a bit awkward, so it’s time for the customary geek hunt. Today I will check another path, the one that drifts away from the river. It also would mean being separated from fish. I’m planning to return by nighttime though.
Looks like there is a town this way? Meri?…… Merimeri-san also was saying that her father went this way, to visit another town. Since her father went there, there is no reason why the geeks can’t be there as well.
Let’s check it.
I dash.
Hmm, did I get faster? Since there is also the effect from 『Boots of Acceleration – Acceleration 30% Up』that I combined with Leather Boots? it’s even harder to understand.
I felt like I covered a lot of distance, but I just left the town.
Bureaucrats, sorry for speaking so harshly of you. Road signs are necessary. The distance to the destination should also be written on them. I don’t understand how fast I’m going. But I won’t allow the banners. All those slogans about road safety are also unnecessary. Moment of negligence – life-lasting injury. Even with warnings there are still going to be crashes. Why? Because goblins are there. Forget injuries, they went straight into the afterlife. If you have time to write such slogans then teach goblins about road safety. Crashing into them time after time hurts!
With this and that, I kept running.
Splattering gobs, I’m running.
Kobolds are getting turned into roadkills as well.
I already forgot what I came here for? Splatter the geeks?
Again, just like yesterday, there is a carriage under attack by bandits. Is this the latest fad? Should I go along with it? Should I attack a carriage as well?
As I approached, I saw 『Omui』written on a carriage in huge letters. Company name? Express delivery? If they are in the delivery business, then I must order books from them.
I dash there.
The attackers are armed soldiers, the defenders are also armed soldiers, looks like delivery service in another world is filled with dangers. I bet they have a lot of late deliveries.
For starters, I blew away the soldiers uninvolved with delivery. Well, I just didn’t make any effort to stop and crashed into them. After collision most things, be it goblins, kobolds, or even soldiers, are blown away. This world has terrible road safety.
「Eehm…… Are you…… Haruka-kun?」
Eh? I don’t remember having any acquaintances among couriers of the other world, and on top of that, it’s another old man. Doesn’t this world have too many old men? Wouldn’t it usually be cute girls on all sides? Isn’t that how isekai stuff usually goes? Why am I swarmed with old men? Why do I have to be surrounded by armed old men? Why are both foes and allies old men? Is the other world trying to kill me with the stink of old men?
「Err, well, yeah? But who are you? Or rather, you aren’t a courier?」
Eh? But then who will deliver my books? Who is going to go all the way to Amazon to bring my books? Fake delivery service?
「I think the name is clearly written on the carriage in big letters. I heard of the black-haired young man who crashes into enemies at high speed…… Didn’t my daughter invite you today? 」
「Daughter? Ah, so you are the father of Merimeri-san, the lord of the nameless town, Phaatherr-san?」
For some reason, annoying old men charged at me, so I cooled their feet and the ground with 『Temperature Magic』and then froze it with 『Ice Magic』.
When they became unable to move I set their hands and hair ablaze. Go bald, such is your punishment for trying to kill me with your stink.
Or rather, though it’s a part of my dark history, but, as a recovered chuunibyou I strongly feel that I have to at least try to recreate an ice and fire hell (Inferno).
And well, after trying it out in reality I got a bunch of miserable bald old men with frozen feet and heavy burns on their hands and heads…… Shouldn’t it be like, way cooler? What is this? It’s simply unpleasant to look at. Rather than calling it a hell of ice and fire it’s more of hell of burned bald old men? I don’t want such attacks. It’s wrong, Inferno must be more…… Cool, more like (crying).
「……Heey, are you listening? I already heard that you don’t listen to others, but at least pick between fighting and listening, why are you speaking to yourself in such a situation? I pity the burned soldiers, at least pay attention when you defeat them, and also, why nameless? The name is written on the carriage in big letters. And though I’m indeed the father, my name is not Phaatherr. I didn’t introduce myself yet, or rather, this is what I want to do, so please listen to me, and also, if my daughter heard you call her Merimeri she would cry, so stop it.」
・ ・ ・
All of the bald men were apprehended. Since they were too pitiful I splashed them with mushroom potion, but even though their wounds got healed, their hair didn’t come back. Inferno (Hair Roots Massacre) is way too scary. I’m sealing (pretend like it never happened) this attack since it’s too dangerous.
But why every time I search for the geeks I find large quantities of gobs and old men instead? Could it be that Detect Presence can’t tell goblins, geeks, and old men apart? In that case, it might be unable to tell apart the idiots we left in the forest as well.
「You are Haruka-kun? Thank you for saving our family. I’m Mariel’s mother, Murimur. Rather than going to the neighboring town for some petty treaty, I want to give you my thanks. Though it is hard to call this a happy coincidence, I’m grateful to you for saving our daughter. And then, you saved even us? How can we even repay you. Thank you very much.」
Ooh, the old men ratio went down. An old lady in an elegant dress and not-so-young maid stepped out from the carriage…… Indeed, the old men ratio went down, but my mood is still down as well. The average age is too high. The average age of the characters I encountered so far is over 30. Just why?
「No, the treaty with the neighboring town is very important, it’s not petty at all. And also, Haruka-kun, I’ll introduce myself, I’m the lord of Omui, Mellotosam Shimu Omui. Allow me to express my gratitude to a benefactor of my family. Thank you.」
After that a complicated story with names of nobles, other towns, the name of this country, the name of the king popping up followed, but I ignored it. I’ll repeat, I ignored it. It’s not like I couldn’t remember the names or didn’t understand what they were saying. I simply ignored it.
As it turns out, even the bandits from yesterday were elite troops of the adversary nobles, who were given the best equipment possible, who were supposed to masquerade as bandits to kidnap Merimeri, in order to use her as leverage against them. However, the elites and the equipment weren’t coming back, so they decided to press with numbers, and gathering people attacked Meri Father and Murimur-san.
As a result, there is no information on the geeks or delivery service…… This stuff has nothing to do with me, of course, I will ignore it.
Once again I return to the town on a carriage.
Even inside the carriage they kept endlessly repeating their thanks. And also the name of the town.
The gatekeepers didn’t scold me today.
But the president did.
Which reminds me, didn’t I say that I won’t leave the town today?…… Eh? I only went to buy soy sauce? How did it turn out like this?
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