Bab 671: Serangan Kedua (1)
Turnamen Bela Diri yang namanya kuubah setelah aku memohon kepada Heavenly Demon, Festival Bela Diri Dewa Surgawi.
Begitu jadwal Festival Bela Diri Dewa Surgawi diumumkan, dunia luar menjadi sibuk.
Biasanya, dunia luar akan gempar karena hal-hal yang terjadi di Forest of Four Seasons, jadi terasa baru melihat mereka ramai karena faktor yang berbeda.
Itu berarti selama ini aku sudah bekerja keras melakukan trolling, dan ada kemungkinan besar hal-hal seperti ini akan sering terjadi di masa depan.
Lalu apa yang harus kulakukan? Untuk sekarang, rencanaku untuk menjelajahi berbagai bagian hutan tetap sama.
Aku tidak hanya mengumpulkan berbagai informasi melalui Lucas, tetapi aku juga mendapatkan pelacak koordinat yang paling penting.
Menavigasi dengan pelacak koordinat ini sambil berkeliaran di hutan akan sangat membantu jadwalku ke depan.
"Lucas-ssi. Apa ini?"
[Ini? Ini tungku portabel. Sangat berguna untuk melelehkan besi selama kau punya mana.]
"Boleh aku ambil satu?"
[Terserah kau.]
Terlebih lagi, aku bahkan mendapatkan tungku portabel yang secara pribadi sudah Lucas 'pindahkan' untukku.
Meskipun dia menjawab dengan nada yang agak cuek, itu bukan penolakan, jadi aku mengambilnya sendiri.
Kalau dia protes, aku bisa saja beralasan bahwa aku tidak mencurinya, melainkan 'memindahkannya'.
[Kami mendefinisikan itu sebagai mencuri.]
"Sebagai Dewa Utama, aku mungkin perlu mendefinisikan ulang arti mencuri."
[Kau benar-benar menjalani hidup yang santai. Aku selalu terkejut setiap kali melihatnya.]
"Memang begitu diriku."
Aku menepis teguran Cain dengan santai dan menatap ke depan.
Dalam perjalanan pulang, hanya langit cerah dan bersih yang memenuhi pandanganku.
Biasanya, aku hanya akan melihat hutan lebat di tanah, tetapi saat ini, aku sedang menaiki helikopter.
Lucas bahkan menghadiahkannya kepadaku, katanya dia sudah memisahkan AI-nya agar aku bisa menggunakannya sesukaku. Berkat itu, tidak butuh waktu lama untuk pulang.
"Aku pergi sekarang?"
"Gas~ Gas~ Gas~"
Ditambah lagu semangat Maengkkongi.
Itu adalah lagu yang sebaiknya tidak didengarkan saat mengemudi, tapi karena sudah terlalu sering mendengarnya, aku sudah kebal.
Lackey juga sedang berkonsentrasi menyetir, jadi dia mungkin tidak bisa mendengar liriknya dengan baik.
Maka, dalam waktu kurang dari sehari, kami kembali ke rumah tercinta yang kami rindukan.
"Kita bisa mendarat di sana."
Kebetulan, ada ruang untuk mendaratkan helikopter di dekat rumah.
Lokasi di mana Paus Langit mendarat untuk perawatan terakhir kali. Itu adalah tempat yang dibersihkan dengan rapi oleh meriam air Paus Langit jantan.
Bukan hanya disemprot meriam air, tetapi karena tubuh sebesar itu pernah duduk di atasnya, tanahnya juga padat dan rata.
Tudududu-
Pendaratan yang mulus. Tak lama kemudian, Lackey mematikan mesin, dan kami kembali ke rumah yang kami rindukan.
Aku menunggu dengan tenang sampai debu tebal yang dihembuskan baling-baling hilang.
Setelah beberapa saat, debu benar-benar hilang, dan aku turun dari helikopter.
Mungkin karena sudah duduk di helikopter cukup lama, tubuhku terasa agak kaku.
"Nnnngh... hup!"
Setelah meregangkan tubuh dengan seksama, aku memeriksa rekan-rekanku terlebih dahulu.
Menyadari bahwa penerbangan yang membosankan sudah berakhir, mereka meregangkan tubuh satu per satu.
"Uwoooogh!"
"Ya ampun."
Kecuali Dolsoe, yang mabuk perjalanan parah. Dia baik-baik saja di mobil, tapi dia begini setiap kali naik helikopter.
Menurutku itu mungkin akrofobia, bukan mabuk perjalanan.
Aku menyerahkan sebotol elixir kepada Dolsoe dan melanjutkan berjalan.
Karena kami menghabiskan sepanjang hari bepergian, aku berencana untuk berbaring di tempat tidurku yang empuk dan beristirahat.
"Ki, kieng?"
"Kieng!"
"...Apa-apaan ini."
Sampai aku menyadari ada tamu tak diundang di rumah kami. Aku mengerutkan kening melihat situasi yang membingungkan itu.
Beberapa rubah berkaki dua membeku begitu mata mereka bertemu denganku.
Tepat ketika aku bertanya-tanya apakah mereka memperlakukan tempat ini seperti rumah sendiri selama kami pergi...
Kwajik!
Aku merasakan benturan tumpul di kepalaku. Serangan yang tepat mengenai pelipisku.
Benturannya sendiri tidak terlalu keras, jadi masih bisa ditahan, tapi terkena di titik vital rasanya menyebalkan.
Paseuseuk-
Bahkan dalam situasi itu, aku dengan tenang mengusap pelipisku.
Kerikil itu sudah hancur total dan berjatuhan.
Merasa amarah naik, aku memeriksa pelaku yang melempar batu ke arahku.
"Kki, kkieek...!"
Rubah yang melempar batu dari atap berdiri dengan ekspresi terkejut. Reaksi seperti 'Apa itu benar-benar manusia?'
Tidak, karena ini hutan, haruskah kubilang reaksi seperti 'Apa itu benar-benar binatang buas?'
Lagipula.
"Kemari, kau bajingan kecil."
Karena mereka yang menyerang duluan, seharusnya tidak masalah untuk memusnahkan mereka semua. Aku mengincar rubah yang melempar batu lebih dulu.
Menyadari sejak awal bahwa dia bukan tandinganku, dia melarikan diri dengan tergesa-gesa.
Kwaak! "!!!"
Tapi sudah terlambat. Mengantisipasi ini, aku sudah melemparkan Heavenly Demon's Sword.
Karena Heavenly Demon's Sword sangat tajam, lemparan sederhana tidak hanya menusuk rubah itu—pedang itu menusuknya seperti sate.
Aku segera mengambil kembali Heavenly Demon's Sword menggunakan Telekinesis. Bangkai rubah itu masih tertusuk seperti sate.
"Ke, keeng!"
"Keeeng!"
Rubah-rubah itu melarikan diri dengan panik ketika teman mereka langsung dibantai. Aku tidak berniat membiarkan mereka pergi dengan mudah.
Pertama, aku mencabut pedang dari bangkai rubah, yang tertancap sampai gagangnya, dan mengeraskannya menggunakan Unity of Self and Object.
Peok! Lalu aku melemparkannya ke rubah-rubah yang melarikan diri. Dengan suara tubuh meledak, bangkai-bangkai rubah itu terpental jauh.
Lemparan biasa akan langsung membunuh, tapi karena aku menggunakan Unity of Self and Object, mereka hancur berkeping-keping.
"Keeeeeng!!! Keeng!!"
"Keeeeng!!"
Setelah membereskan yang melarikan diri satu per satu, aku hanya menyisakan satu yang hidup di akhir.
Aku tidak menyisakannya karena belas kasihan, tapi hanya untuk mengumpulkan informasi.
"Lackey. Interogasi dia untuk mencari tahu apa yang mereka pikirkan ketika datang ke tempat perlindungan kita."
"Dan setelah interogasi?"
"Makan dia, bunuh dia lalu buang ke sungai, terserah kau."
"Rubah punya bau prei yang menyengat, jadi aku akan membuangnya."
"Terserah kau."
Sungguh, kau tidak bisa lengah sedetik pun di hutan sialan ini.
Kalau saja aku tidak sedikit lebih kuat, setidaknya aku sudah pingsan karena serangan mendadak rubah itu.
Aku menggerutu sambil perlahan memeriksa apa yang telah dilakukan rubah-rubah itu.
"Ah, sial, baunya."
Begitu masuk ke kamar tidur, umpatan keluar dengan sendirinya. Bau busuk yang mengerikan tercium.
Untuk berjaga-jaga, aku memeriksa tempat tidur, dan ternyata benar, seekor rubah sudah menandai wilayahnya dengan sangat menyeluruh.
Bukan hanya tempat tidur, tapi tikar di lantai juga sama. Ini praktis pesta parasit.
Memikirkan harus mencuci semua ini sekaligus membuat penglihatanku gelap, tapi aku harus melakukannya.
Pertama, aku mulai dengan ventilasi ruangan untuk menghilangkan bau busuknya. Ini akan menjadi hari yang sangat sibuk.
"Dolsoe."
"...Katakan."
"Tidak, kau istirahat saja dulu."
Aku tadinya mau menyuruh Dolsoe melakukannya, tapi karena dia terlihat setengah mati, aku biarkan dia istirahat.
Setelah membersihkan kotoran secara kasar, aku mengganti semua seprai dan tikar.
Untungnya, aku punya cadangan, jadi aku tidak perlu tidur di lantai kosong.
Sebagai gantinya, mencuci kotoran itu sampai bersih akan cukup merepotkan. Arang saja tidak akan cukup.
'Aku harus minta deterjen dari Starlight Lady.'
Kotoran rubah terkenal dengan baunya yang sangat busuk.
Bukankah orang-orang yang memelihara rubah sebagai hewan peliharaan bilang mereka lucu dan sebagainya, tapi baunya yang sulit ditangani?
Kalau mereka punya nafsu makan besar seperti Wonmo, mungkin tidak masalah, tapi bau menyengat yang parah benar-benar sulit ditangani.
"Jadi Wonmo, kau hanya perlu makan dan tumbuh seperti babi, oke?"
"Kkyuung?"
Wonmo, yang juga menutup hidungnya karena bau, memiringkan kepalanya.
Aku mengelus kepala Wonmo yang lucu dan pergi mencuci pakaian.
[Starlight Lady: Kau butuh deterjen yang kuat? Apakah anak-anak mengalami kecelakaan saat tidur?]
[Wild Grylls: (Menyisipkan foto bekas rubah.) Mereka menggunakan rumahku seperti rumah sendiri selama aku pergi.]
[Starlight Lady: Mereka bilang kalau harimau pergi, rubah yang berkuasa... Sekresi rubah memiliki bau yang mengerikan, jadi aku akan memberikan sesuatu yang kubuat sendiri. Menggunakan kelopak World Tree, jadi itu akan sangat membantu.]
[Wild Grylls: Terima kasih banyak. Aku merasa selalu merepotkanmu.]
[Starlight Lady: Merepotkan? Seperti yang selalu kukatakan, bahkan mengabdikan seluruh hidupku pun tidak akan cukup untuk membalas budimu, Grylls-nim.]
[Wild Grylls: Kau tidak perlu mengabdikan hidupmu. Hidup setiap orang itu penting.]
[Starlight Lady: Tapi hidupku sudah satu dengan hidupmu, Grylls-nim.]
Apa ini? Apa ini semacam pengakuan baru?
Sementara aku memasang ekspresi bodoh, tidak ada balasan dari Starlight Lady.
Karena canggung kalau dibiarkan begitu saja, aku memutuskan untuk mengakhiri percakapan dengan cepat.
[Wild Grylls: Aku akan mengandalkanmu. Kalau terjadi apa-apa, aku akan melakukan yang terbaik untuk membantumu.]
[Starlight Lady: Cukup mencariku saat kau keluar saja sudah cukup. Apa kau menggunakan parfum yang kuberikan sebelumnya?]
Aku tahu parfum yang dimaksud Starlight Lady. Parfum yang dibuat dari penyulingan kelopak World Tree.
Itu parfum misterius yang bahkan aku, yang benar-benar awam soal parfum, akan nilai sebagai sesuatu yang unik.
Tentu saja, sulit menggunakannya dengan sembarangan di hutan, tapi untuk menghormati permintaan Starlight Lady, sesekali aku membubuhkan aromanya.
[Wild Grylls: Jangan khawatir. Aku menciumnya dari waktu ke waktu.]
[Starlight Lady: Terima kasih. Kalau begitu, jalani hidup yang aman.]
Terasa seperti dia jauh lebih sopan dari sebelumnya. Aku menganggapnya sebagai imajinasiku belaka.
Yang lebih penting, cucian. Aku mampir ke kamar mandi untuk menyiapkan air panas.
"Ah. Bagaimana bajingan-bajingan ini tahu tentang air panas?"
Boiler yang menyimpan air panas benar-benar kosong.
Itu bukan karena tidak dirawat untuk sementara waktu. Secara harfiah tidak ada setetes air pun di dalamnya.
Di masa depan, setiap kali aku meninggalkan rumah, aku harus meminta
Chapter 671: Second Raid (1)
The Martial Arts Tournament whose name was changed after I begged the Heavenly Demon, the Heavenly God Martial Festival.
Once the schedule for the Heavenly God Martial Festival was finalized, the outside world became busy.
Normally, the outside would be in an uproar over things happening in the Forest of Four Seasons, so it felt novel to see them buzzing over a different factor.
It meant I had worked hard at trolling so far, and there was a high possibility that things like this would happen often in the future.
Then what should I do? For now, my plan to explore various parts of the forest remains the same.
Not only had I gathered all sorts of information through Lucas, but I had also obtained the most important coordinate tracker.
Navigating with this coordinate tracker while roaming around the forest would be of great help to my future schedule.
"Lucas-ssi. What is this?"
[This? It’s a portable furnace. It’s very useful for melting iron as long as you have mana.]
"Can I take one?"
[Do as you please.]
Moreover, I had even obtained a portable furnace that Lucas had personally ’relocated’ for me.
Although he replied in a somewhat blunt tone, it wasn’t a rejection, so I brought it myself.
If he protested, I could just make an excuse that I didn’t steal it, but rather ’relocated’ it.
[We define that as stealing.]
"As the Chief God, I might need to redefine stealing."
[You really live an easygoing life. It surprises me every time I see it.]
"That’s just how I am."
I lightly brushed off Cain’s scolding and looked ahead.
On the way back home, only the clear, clean sky filled my vision.
Normally, I would have only seen the dense forest on the ground, but currently, I was riding in a helicopter.
Lucas had even gifted it to me, saying he had separated the AI so I could use it as I pleased. Thanks to that, it didn’t take long to return home.
"Shall I go now?"
"Gas~ Gas~ Gas~"
Plus Maengkkongi’s exciting song.
It was a song you shouldn’t listen to while driving, but having heard it so much, I was numb to it.
Lackey was also concentrating on driving, so he probably couldn’t hear the lyrics well anyway.
And so, in less than a day, we returned to our beloved, missed home.
"We can land over there."
Conveniently, there was a space to land the helicopter near the house.
The site where the Sky Whale had landed for treatment last time. It was a place neatly cleared by the male Sky Whale’s water cannon.
Not only had it been blasted by a water cannon, but since that colossal body had sat on it, the ground was also flatly packed.
Tudududu-
A clean landing. Soon, Lackey turned off the engine, and we returned to our missed home.
I waited quietly until the thick dust kicked up by the rotor blades cleared.
After a moment, the dust cleared completely, and I stepped down from the helicopter.
Perhaps because I had been sitting in the helicopter for quite a long time, my body felt a bit stiff.
"Nnnngh... hup!"
After stretching thoroughly, I checked on my companions first.
Realizing the tedious flight was over, they were stretching their bodies one by one.
"Uwoooogh!"
"Oh dear."
Except for Dolsoe, who was severely motion sick. He was fine in cars, but he got like this whenever he rode a helicopter.
I figured it was probably acrophobia rather than motion sickness.
I handed Dolsoe a bottle of Elixir and walked on.
Since we spent the whole day traveling, I planned to lie down on my fluffy bed and rest.
"Ki, kieng?"
"Kieng!"
"...What the."
Until I realized there were uninvited guests in our house. I frowned at the baffling situation.
Some bipedal foxes froze the moment they made eye contact with me.
Just as I was wondering if they had treated the place like their own home while we were away...
Kwajik!
I felt a dull impact on my head. An attack that hit me right in the temple.
The impact itself wasn’t very strong, so it was bearable, but getting hit in a vital spot felt like shit.
Paseuseuk-
Even in that situation, I calmly wiped my temple.
The pebble had completely crumbled and fell in pieces.
Feeling anger rise, I checked the culprit who threw the stone at me.
"Kki, kkieek...!"
The fox who had slung the stone from the roof stood with a shocked expression. A reaction of Is that really a human?
No, since this was the forest, should I say it was a reaction of Is that really a beast?
Anyway.
"Come here, you little shit."
Since they attacked first, it should be fine to eliminate them all. I targeted the fox who threw the stone first.
Realizing from the start that he was no match, he fled in a hurry.
Kwaak! "!!!"
But it was already too late. Anticipating this, I had already thrown the Sword of the Heavenly Demon.
Since the Sword of the Heavenly Demon was incredibly sharp, a simple throw didn’t just lodge into the fox—it skewered him.
I immediately retrieved the Sword of the Heavenly Demon using Telekinesis. The fox corpse was still skewered like a skewer.
"Ke, keeng!"
"Keeeng!"
The foxes fled in panic as their companion was instantly slaughtered. I had no intention of letting them go easily.
First, I pulled the sword from the fox corpse, which had been buried up to the hilt, and hardened it using Unity of Self and Object.
Peok! Then I hurled it at the fleeing foxes. With the sound of bodies bursting, the fox corpses flew far away.
A normal throw would have been instant death, but since I used Unity of Self and Object, they blew apart into pieces.
"Keeeeeng!!! Keeng!!"
"Keeeeng!!"
After cleaning up the fleeing ones one by one, I left only one alive at the end.
I didn’t leave him out of mercy, but simply to gather information.
"Lackey. Interrogate him to find out what they were thinking when they came to our Shelter."
"And after the interrogation?"
"Eat him, kill him and throw him in the river, do whatever you want."
"Foxes have a strong gamey smell, so I will throw him away."
"Do as you wish."
Seriously, you can’t let your guard down for even a second in this damn forest.
If I hadn’t been even slightly strong, I would have at least been knocked out by the fox’s ambush.
I grumbled as I slowly checked what the foxes had done.
"Ah, fuck, the smell."
As soon as I entered the bedroom, curses naturally spilled out. A terrible stench wafted through.
Just in case, I checked the bed, and sure enough, a fox had marked its territory very thoroughly.
Not just the bed, but the mat on the floor was the same. It was practically a parasite party.
The thought of washing all of this at once made my vision go dark, but I had to do it.
First, I started by ventilating the room to get rid of the stench. It was going to be a really busy day.
"Dolsoe."
"...Speak."
"No, you just rest for now."
I was going to make Dolsoe do it, but since he looked half-dead, I let him rest.
After roughly cleaning up the excrement, I replaced all the sheets and mats.
Fortunately, I had spare ones, so I wouldn’t have to sleep on the bare floor.
Instead, washing the excrement clean would be quite a chore. Charcoal wouldn’t be enough.
’I should get some detergent from Starlight Lady.’
Fox excrement is famous for having an extremely foul odor.
Didn’t people who keep foxes as pets say they are cute and all, but the smell makes it hard?
If they had a massive appetite like Wonmo, it might be fine, but a severe stench is truly difficult to handle.
"So Wonmo, you just need to eat and grow like a pig, okay?"
"Kkyuung?"
Wonmo, who was also holding his nose because of the smell, tilted his head.
I stroked cute Wonmo’s head and went to do the laundry.
[Starlight Lady: You need a strong detergent? Did the children have an accident in their sleep?]
[Wild Grylls: (Insert photo of what used to be foxes.) These guys were using my house like their own while I was away.]
[Starlight Lady: They say when the tiger is away, the fox rules... Fox secretions have a terrible stench, so I will give you something I made myself. It uses World Tree petals, so it will be of great help.]
[Wild Grylls: Thank you so much. I feel like I’m always causing trouble for you.]
[Starlight Lady: Trouble? As I’ve always said, even dedicating my entire life wouldn’t be enough to repay what I owe you, Grylls-nim.]
[Wild Grylls: You don’t need to dedicate your life. Everyone’s own life is important.]
[Starlight Lady: But my life is already one with yours, Grylls-nim.]
What’s this? Is this some new kind of confession?
While I wore a dumbfounded expression, there was no reply from Starlight Lady.
Since it was awkward to just leave it like this, I decided to wrap up the conversation quickly.
[Wild Grylls: I’ll be in your care. If anything happens, I’ll do my best to help you.]
[Starlight Lady: Just looking for me when you come outside is enough. Did you use the perfume I gave you before?]
I knew what perfume Starlight Lady was talking about. A perfume made by refining World Tree petals.
It was a mysterious perfume that even I, a complete novice to perfumes, would evaluate as unique.
Of course, it was hard to use carelessly in the forest, but to honor Starlight Lady’s request, I occasionally imprinted the scent.
[Wild Grylls: Don’t worry. I smell it from time to time.]
[Starlight Lady: Thank you. Then, please lead a safe life.]
It felt like she was being much more polite than before. I brushed it off as my imagination.
More importantly, the laundry. I stopped by the bathroom to prepare hot water.
"Ah. How did these bastards even know about hot water?"
The boiler storing hot water was completely empty.
It wasn’t because it hadn’t been maintained for a while. There literally wasn’t a single drop of water inside.
In the future, whenever I leave the house, I should ask the Hobgoblins to guard it.
"Master."
"Ah, right. What did that guy say?"
"He said they are vagrants. They were wandering aimlessly and found this place. He said they didn’t know there was an owner."
"And a guy like that throws a stone at my head first? You killed him, right?"
"I split him in half and threw him in the river. I skinned him too, while I was at it."
"Good job."
When the tiger is away, the fox rules—it was exactly like that.
Even though I had installed a jammer, these guys had sneaked in like parasites.
I let out a deep sigh, but suddenly, a sense of anxiety washed over me.
Did these guys only sleep here? I was absolutely sure they didn’t.
So I asked Lackey to do the laundry and rushed to the food storage.
Since I had replenished the ice before leaving, there was no way the food would spoil.
The problem was the foxes. If it was them, they would have definitely stolen and eaten the food.
"Kuuuuh..."
"..."
Sure enough, despite the chaos outside, there was one sleeping peacefully inside.
In terms of size, he was almost three times larger than the other foxes, transcending the species of a fox.
Finally, the smell of alcohol wafting heavily from inside the food storage. I felt a headache coming on.
’At least the Inner Cores were safe, but...’
Not only the food, but almost half of the alcohol was gone. It seemed they had thrown a party every day while we were away.
The reason this particular drunkard among the foxes was so huge must be because he did nothing but drink.
Since it wasn’t ordinary alcohol, but mostly medicinal liquor infused with Inner Cores.
I barely suppressed the rising anger inside and dealt with it calmly.
Udeuk!
Of course, apart from that, there was no mercy. I snapped the neck of the peacefully sleeping fox and threw him outside.
Since he was big, I could use him for fur. Although the smell of alcohol was vibrating, I could just wash it thoroughly.
Title) Where did the fox rule when the owner was away?
Wild Grylls
(Photo 1 of the mess the foxes made)
(Photo 2 of the mess the foxes made)
(Photo of the coldly dead fox corpse)
(Photo of the fox corpse with a snapped neck)
That would be my house.
While I was away, foxes came and made a total mess of it, fuck;;
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